[Insert pretentious name here]

This is a bit of a copy off Rushan's blog, but in case you are wondering what it is, it is taken from Please Understand Me: Character and Temperament Types. It kind of goes along with my post on masks.

"If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me that my want is wrong.

Or if I believe other than you, at least pause before you correct my view.

Or if my emotion is less than yours, or more, given the same circumstances, try not to ask me to feel more strongly or weakly.

Or yet if I act, or fail to act, in the manner of your design for action, let me be.

I do not for the moment at least, ask you to understand me. That will come only when you are willing to give up changing me into a copy of you.

I may be your spouse, your parent, your offspring, your friend, or your colleague. If you allow me any of my own wants, emotions, beliefs or actions, then you open yourself, so that some day these ways of mine might not seem so wrong, and might finally appear to you as right - for me. To put up with me is the first step to understanding me. Not that you embrace my ways as right for you, but that you are no longer irritated or disappointed with me for my seeming waywardness. And in understanding me you might come to prize my differences from you, and far from seeking to change me, preserve and even nurture those differences.

Finale...
What has been said? Well, everybody's different and everybody's OK in their style as is. Let's face it; most of us are strangers to each other. I have my desires, you have yours. You keep yours and I'll keep mine because what each of us wants is good. What's more, you have your talent and I have mine and I can admire you for yours. I hope you will reciprocate.

It is simply not true that you and I go through the same stages to become mature. Maybe you had an identity crisis or two, but I didn't, and it's not because I'm immature or fixated at some stage, passage or season of my life. I'm just not into identity, never have been, never will be. I've other fish to fry.

Well, stranger, there isn't any way you can really understand me, but if you stop trying to change me to look like you, you might come to appreciate me. I'll settle for that. How about you?"

In this episode of looking in Will's head, we will see how Will's thoughts progress. Enjoy!

BTW...Masks= Changes of personality.

I have a very strange taste in books...While most of my peers remain uninterested in books, I not only love to read books, I have a very strange taste in books, absolutely loving things such as fantasy, sci-fi and even books about religion and spirituality! Not many people my age that I can think of have that eclectic a taste in books! This also brings me to the topic of my not maturing. (in some ways) I have always loved computer games such as Star Wars, or a good FPS, and I still love it just as much, if not more. I know people who used to like these things but have grown out of them, and I can't help but feel that I should have too! It's almost like I get a guilty feeling whenever I start a game. (Rushan! Could that be it?) I dunno...

Which brings me to my next point...Since my interests don't really seem to reflect most of my friend's interests (which, sadly enough, tend to be hockey :( ) I have to wear masks almost all the time.

I know what you are thinking, but don't worry. I don't pretend to like hockey :D

Hopefully I will meet some new people to hang out with in Colonel Gray...

I am not proud of the amount of masks I feel I am forced to wear. It seems that when I first meet someone I make a mask that will best go with their personality and then I am stuck with that! There are always the certain few that I don't have to wear a mask around, Rushan, Ben, Reese to name a few, and for this I am eternally grateful. These are the people that mean the most to me, the people that can accept me for who I am. There are some things I would like to say, but I don't think are appropriate for a public blog. Luckily I have Rushan to vent to. Typing all of that that I had to erase took all my creative juices and now I have nothing to show for it...Oh well. I'm done for now.

Interesting how talking about books can lead you the deepest darkest depths of your soul, so deep that they are not meant for public view :D (I am just trying to make you curious ;) )

Once again, sorry for not posting for so long. I don't really know who I am apologizing to when I say that....probably myself. Oh well. I have still been really busy.

I don't really know how to say it, but, lately I have been paying more attention the the small details of everything. I have been almost slowing down, absorbing things more. It is a weird way of putting it, but it's almost like I am taking everything there is to get from something before finishing with it, where as before, I would only absorb half of what is there before moving on the the next thing. For example, I have actually been listening to music, listening to the chords, even (attempting) to play some, if I am feeling adventurous. I have been taking time alone to think, rather than default to the computer or TV. (Although I do that sometimes too!) Now this is going to sound really weird, but even things like playing baseball is different. When I am playing catch with someone, there is some strange satisfaction from the feeling of catching the ball in just the right place in the glove. It's kind of difficult to explain. Again, for example, I was sailing tonight, and there was almost no wind. Normally in this type of situation I would have been bored out my mind, but instead, I took advantage of the situation and used the (relative) quiet time to think over some things.

Wow...it took almost an hour for that relativly short post...

ARG. Sorry for not posting for so long. I have been really busy with showing FX around and stuff, but I guess that's not really a good excuse. I haven't been writing my book recently either. It's just that....well I have been dealing with stuff lately and I have been kind of pre-occupied...Not stuff that I am ready to share with the general public. Not right now, and maybe not ever. Anyhoo...I am going to write something now...not really in the mood, but I'm sure I'll think of something.

P.S. The "stuff" I've been dealing with lately has nothing to do with FX, in case you were wondering :)

So, Francois Xavier, or FX, arrived yesterday. We have a lot more in common than I thought we would, and his english is also quite good. He speaks quite well but sometimes has to search for words (which is normal) and we have to repeat ourselves often, but his english is really quite good. He seems very nice and has some interest in computer games (Total War series) and it seems that we are getting along well (so far :D ) Hopefully things will continue this way :)

Sorry for the short post, more on the way later.

Happy birthday Willy! It is my birthday! I am now officially 15 years old, and apparently I am now old enough to get a job! Hoorah! (Rumor is that no one will hire someone under the age of 15) Well just a quick update on the big new in my life:

My b-day! (of course)

Mom and Dad's 21st anniversary (one day before my b-day)

F-X arriving tommorow (hopefully he settles in nice and quick)

Hopefully I will be receiving a birthday call tommorow morning! (You know who you are...;) )

Oh update: I have been too busy relaxing lately to write, so that is the reason all my avid readers have seen much lately :) I will be back at it soon.

I don't like the American government. American citizens, are for the most part, nice people, but their government are such frelling mivonks! Seriously, they are such thoddos! :D

Anyways, if you are wondering why I am suddenly dissing the US government, have you heard about the softwood lumber dispute between Canada and the US? Basically what the deal is, is that the USA have been taxing Canadian lumber going into the US and the two countries have been fighting over whether this is legal or not. Well a recent NAFTA (North American Free Trade Agreement) ruling states that this is indeed illegal, and demands that the United States re-pay Canada the 4.1 billion dollars they have lost because of illegal taxing. Now, when I first heard this news, I thought, good, Canada has finally taken the US down a peg. But no, I was wrong. It turns out that the US, being the arrogant Frelniks they are, have decided to completely ignore the NAFTA ruling and continue to tax Canada illegally. ARG, this made my blood boil when I first heard it. It still does!! I know that the US would have made Canada respect this ruling if it went their way! That is typical American behaviour, prosecute a country for breaking the rules, then when rules are set against them, just break them like they were nothing! God damn, they should invade themselves! I mean, they have invaded countries just because they think they have WMD when they themselves have thousands more than anyone else!

ARG!

Hopefully Canada will retaliate by enforcing litigations or trade sanctions. One can only hope.

/random and probably very confusing to read rant

Well, first off I will apologize for not posting for so long. I have a couple things on the go, but I am not yet sure whether I will post them or not as they are on a more personal level. And I have become re-addicted to a computer game. (surprise, surprise!) Speaking of addiction, it happens to me too easily, especially with computer games. I find a new game, am obsessed with it for 1-2 months, play it non-stop, then grow bored with it and stop playing. I am trying to moniter my usage of this game so this doesn't happen yet again, but as you can probably guess, it isn't working out too well. :D

Francois-Xavier (F-X or FOXY HAHAHA) arrives on Saturday. In case you didn't already know FOXY (teehee) is my twin for the Canada-France exchange I am involved in. He will be here for approx. 3 months, until November. I leave for Meylan, France, which is just outside of Grenoble in Febuary until March. Now this Febuary-March thing is kind of bothering me. Especially choosing whether I should have my French class first or second semester. Here are the pros and cons of taking French first or second semester. :D (I guess you can just figure out the second semester pros and cons as they will just be first semester ones switched :D)

First Semester Pros:

Improves my french skills so I will have less trouble adjusting to the language while in France.

First Semester Cons: Takes away an easy class in a semester where I will be missing 3 months of classes. (Classes in France do not count.)

It may come down to a coin toss :D.

Nick finally left for Austria on his rotary exchange, and also finally escaped the British Airways strike in which he was caught in. He has since arrived at his new home/castle (which is bigger than he thought...more on that later!) and has left for his German language camp. We have not heard from him since London. (Again, another surprise :D) We all miss you already Nick! For example, I turned on the TV, and there was "Dave the Barbarian" but I just as quickly turned it off, because it's just not the same without someone to laugh with.

So Nick's castle. It appears that it is huge, and that his family also owns a mountain, on which is the ruins from the first castle! The chapel is still intact from the first church! (I'm so jealous!!!!! :()

Thus ends the random thoughts.

P.S. Birthday in t-minus 4 days!!!!!!

I know I am a little late in posting this, but....oh well.

1. Daily exercise. This is Number 1 because exercise is an extremely important part of life and I haven't really been doing much as of late. And my guns won't stay this sculpted without some effort ;)

2. Put more effort into school. I have never really tried at school and have always gotten OK grades, but it's time that I put my full potential to the test, and see what I am really capable of.

3. Practice my trombone more. Something else that I have been putting a half-assed effort into.

4. Put as much effort as possible into improving my french skills. If I am to have a successful time in France, I at least need to know how to speak french properly!

5. Keep in touch! Specifically with this person, this person and this person.

6. Be more motivated in everything I do. Specifically everything I just mentioned, but I need to be more motivated in everything! Not sure how I will do that, but I may just need to force myself through the pain.

7. Try to be as welcoming to Francois-Xavier as possible. Pretty much self explanatory. :)

8. Update my blog! Of course! How could I have forgotten that??


That's all for now, but this list is likely to be updated throughout the year.

Money+Youth+Parents=Annoyance.

Although I have plenty of money in my bank account, my parents act like it is theirs. They never let me spend it and they say they are going to open a savings account (or something like that) for me, but they never get around to it! GAR! So I have come to a shocking decision. I will get a job. Or at least try to :) Sobeys might be a good place to work....but maybe I'm too young.....I'll have to talk to Paul.....I will pretty much work anywhere that doesn't involve a full-time toilet cleaning job or serving food though. Any ideas on a part time job anyone? :D

Sorry for the randomness.....

I was reading Reese's blog for the first time since I got back from BC (more on that later) and I came across this quote: "All suffering comes from desire or attachment". I find this quote slightly ridiculous. Although it may be true, if you were to live by this, as I guess at least one person does, what would be the point of life?!?!? Tell me this: if you had absolutely no desire in your life, why would you do anything? Everything you do is driven by desire, be it yours or someone else's. Try to imagine what life would be like without desire! If you had no desires, you wouldn't bother to even make an effort at school, relationships, even life!

Now attachments. For me attachments mean relationships, and relationships mean love. And what would life be without love?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Without relationships, life would be nothing. Everything that you learn (in my opinion) you learn from relationships. Even though relationships can sometimes mean pain and sadness, what you reap from these relationships is worth the pain and suffering by a million times. I will use Rushan as an example. I have known Rushan for almost 3 years and in that short time, I have grown to know and love him. He has taught me more about life and spirituality than any one else and more about other things than any teacher possibly could have. Unfortunatly, Rushan is moving to New Hampshire in October. While I am very sad that he is leaving, I wouldn't trade my time with him for anything. Everything I have learned and experienced with and because of Rushan is worth more than all the pain in the world. Heck even just having someone to talk to at 3 AM is worth it!

For this reason, and many more, I think this "philosophy" is a load of bull used by someone as an excuse for wasting their whole life and is now bitter about it and is trying to force their cynical views on life on other people :D